i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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