I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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