sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
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