Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
i think im in europe. pls send help
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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