Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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