can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Randomize
