Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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