Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
17 year olds will be the death of me.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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