I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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