She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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