don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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