it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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