i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Randomize
