he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
