4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
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