It's like God shit irony all over that family
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Randomize
