This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Randomize
