Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I'm really busy with my period
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
