what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Randomize