Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
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