Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
