we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
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