I want to walk on stilts...naked
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
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