but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
