If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I'm both gender and math confused
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize
