we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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