Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
