I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
