the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Alive.
So much puke
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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