I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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