I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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