Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
