my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
