Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Randomize
