Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
