So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
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Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
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She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
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