So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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