Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
