If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
