how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Randomize
