we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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