That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
