If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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