Just mADE A PArabola og urine
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
