just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
