It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Randomize
