I don't think brook has ever known best
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.