Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(305): View more from Florida

Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.

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(305): Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough. http://tfl.nu/p0ma

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(551): View more from New Jersey

do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??

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(551): do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse?? http://tfl.nu/m371

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(651): View more from Minnesota

i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it

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(651): i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it http://tfl.nu/fv1k

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(843): View more from South Carolina

GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.

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(843): GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head. http://tfl.nu/4n4o

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(270): View more from Kentucky

He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.

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(270): He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in. http://tfl.nu/fxk7

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(850): View more from Florida

Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"

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(850): Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere" http://tfl.nu/ju0a

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(802): View more from Vermont

He's yummy.

(613): View more from Ontario

HE'S GAY. AND 40.

(802): View more from Vermont

Irrelevant.

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(802): He's yummy. (613): HE'S GAY. AND 40. (802): Irrelevant. http://tfl.nu/3zsj

Replies (9) Good night (2018) Bad night (834)
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(785): View more from Kansas

I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.

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(785): I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name. http://tfl.nu/h5ua

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(305): View more from Florida

If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.

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(305): If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals. http://tfl.nu/sngt

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(283): View more from Ohio

by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?

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(283): by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours? http://tfl.nu/2a7f

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(630): View more from Illinois

I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk

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(630): I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk http://tfl.nu/t8bq

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown

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(715): begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown http://tfl.nu/xg0v

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(805): View more from California

Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?

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(805): Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later? http://tfl.nu/nvl3

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(619): View more from California

According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.

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(619): According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night. http://tfl.nu/q1q9

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.

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(978): I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency. http://tfl.nu/azpx

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