I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.