I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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