You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize