I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
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