Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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