I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
