You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize
