you guys were way drunker than both of me
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize
