I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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