Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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