so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
