btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
