party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Randomize
